How losing my voice is helping me speak up

Some signs you can’t ignore. When I recently received the diagnosis of vocal cord paralysis, a part of me wanted to laugh. I hear you, universe. I may not be able to respond, but I hear you!

I totally believe in the power of the mind-body connection and the idea that if we hold on to negative emotions they can have adverse effects on our health. (If you haven’t yet watched the documentary “Heal” on Netflix please do!) So of course this experience has me questioning not only my physical health but all the spiritual and emotional junk that’s built up for me.

What gives? What areas can I work on? Where can I focus my healing? Was there an emotional cause of this?

In my soul-searching one of the first things that came to mind is my difficulty in asking for help. I’m stubbornly independent and hate feeling like a burden. Having a baby has forced me to ask for help more than usual, but there are times when I’m juggling holding a crying baby and simultaneously (and usually unsuccessfully) trying to multitask and instead of just yelling for help I try to make it work. And when it doesn’t I get frustrated. (It’s actually sort of funny after the fact. Have you ever tried to put on underwear with one hand? Surprisingly challenging!)

Self-care is something I preach but don’t do nearly as much as I know I need. As a new mom it’s engrained in me to put baby first. But like we’re always reminded when flying: secure your own mask first, then assist the other person.

So I’m working on taking care of me so I can better take care of everyone else. I’ve never been to so many doctors' appointments in such a short time (I don't know how all of you with chronic health issues do it!), and while a CT scan isn’t my favorite way to relax, I’m learning to use the time I have at various doctors as self-care. It can’t all be chocolate donuts and bubble baths.

This week included visits to the chiropractor, a CT scan (all-clear!), an OB 6 week follow-up (minor prolapse, cleared for exercise), and acupuncture (lung meridian chi deficiency; more on the insight I gained from this session in another post). Next week is speech therapy, massage, and lots of scheduled Helen time.

I’m taking walks every day, getting back into my yoga practice, and working on writing when I have down time on my phone instead of endless social media scrolling.

And of course, I’m asking for help by:

• Carving out and communicating which 2 hours every day baby daddy is first responder for our little guy so I can get work done, nap, or do something for me.
• Leaning on amazing teacher friends to assist my upcoming teacher training and keep the studio running at its best.
• Questioning everyone I meet on their advice for healing practices.
• And asking you, my online community, to support Wild Thing Yoga and Floating Yoga School by continuing to follow, take classes, and share upcoming events and teacher trainings. When I’m not able to hustle as hard as usual, I know my amazing network will help me. If you know anyone in Central Oregon looking for yoga classes please share the love. If you know anyone looking for a teacher training please pass along my email address! And keep watching, subscribing, and commenting on my YouTube videos. 

My voice is sounding a little better already and I’m slowly getting back to feeling like my (new) self. And while my ENT isn’t convinced there’s improvement without my vocal cord functioning coming back, I know these little things add up to big energetic shifts that definitely do make a difference for me. I am my own best healer and this is my path for now.